Dancing to Life's Song

2011-12-09T09:07:00.000-08:00

Katie told me its time for an update on my blog, so here I am.
I haven't blogged for almost 2 months. What's happened...

Midnight showing of Footloose! Yes we made those shirts special for the movie. Probably the movie we were looking forward to all year! I loved it! I want to watch it again right now... well honestly all the time.

Halloween! The girls and I went to a party and had a great time. Gosh I love dancing... with my girls, its weird dancing with guys. We were all disney characters and I wore this outfit to work on Halloween. Fortunately I kept part of my high school uniform.

My Birthday!! Well I have officially started into the years of unexciting birthdays... not the birthdays particularly but the age. When you are 16 you get to drive, 18 you get to vote, 21 you are officially an adult, ect... 22 there is nothing exciting about that age, nothing really changes. But nonetheless, I had a wonderful birthday. My roommate Randi, made me a fantastic zebra birthday cake. She is so talented!

In November I got to go to California with the Brousseau's. It was a blast! They got us all the City Pass. It included a 3day park hopper to California Adventure and Disneyland, and a day at sea world, the san diego zoo, and Universal Studios. My favorite had to be Universal Studios. I don't know if I was just old when I first went to Disneyland, or because I have only been with kids, or maybe I am just heartless, but I have never been that impressed with Disneyland. The shows there were magical though. I love that during the holidays they have it "snow" during the fireworks.

And lastly, I started dating someone. This is Jordan. I finally trapped someone into being with me haha. Really though I am so lucky, he treats me so well. We met in October and talked and hung out pretty consistently during November. He's really funny, I love talking to him, and he is a good listener, I feel bad sometimes because I am used to having to repeat pretty much everything I say to guys at least 3 times, and he remembers everything so sometimes I tell him things more than once. Oh well. Anyway, usually I am pretty excited to be with him but sometimes I get a little anxiety, probably because I haven't dated someone in years. We'll see how it goes.

Anyways, that's pretty much all that has been going on, I am excited to come home for christmas and see all of you! Love you!!

Sorry Everyone

2011-10-11T00:27:00.000-07:00

I've just realized that there have been several odd comments on recent posts and I would just like to apologize about me complaining about dating in the last few posts. So I would like to take this opportunity to share the good things about my life.

I have a wonderful family that cares for me and is always there to listen, give wonderful advice and just chat to catch up.
I have 2 fantastic roommates that I love hanging out with.
I have the opportunity to take piano lessons again and work on a potential talent.
I have skills that I am able to use almost daily to serve those around me such as hair cutting and sewing.
I have 2 jobs that keep me busy but are great because I am able to support myself.
My car works and does not give me any problems
I have the gospel in my life and I know the happiness that comes from living the standards set forth from the church.
I have 4 children (nannying) that remind me to be better always (like wear my seatbelt)
I have plenty of opportunities to serve those around me
I can afford the food that I like to eat.
My sisters taught me how to cook.
Being able to take dance.
Going to institute.
Having a temple so close to me
living in the gorgeous apt that i do.
having money to play a little (Footloose on friday! WOOHOO)

Anyways the list could go on and on because I am so blessed. While I am sorry for complaining. I am not sorry for the way that I feel. It's frustrating to see all my friends getting married or having babies and feel a little alone in that aspect. I know that I should enjoy my single life and trust me I take advantage of that all the time but a deeper more meaningful relationship would be better over that anyday. That is all :)

and the good times roll on,

2011-10-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

A conversation I had at work tonight with my Manager Tyler:
Me "Why aren't there any guys that want to date me?"
Tyler "Cuz guys are dumb"
Me "I take it back. I could find a guy to date, the problem is I am so dang picky"
Tyler "That's cuz you are a girl"

True

I see all my friends go through boyfriend after boyfriend and I think why can't I have that. But then I realize that I could. If i really wanted a boyfriend then I would just date any guy that came along. It wouldn't be a big deal. But I am not looking for just any relationship. I am looking for something serious and lasting. One that could potentially progress into something more. And I guess those are hard to find.. OR I am too picky.

Provo Life

2011-09-06T23:56:00.000-07:00

After a request from Katt I decided that it was time to post on my blog again but I would like to point out that everyone else has been slacking a little in these parts recently (except Dawn)

I just got done moving into a new place in Provo. It has the reputation for tools and rich girls but it's where i feel like I should be and I know what happens when i don't listen. So here I am and I actually like it here quite a bit. Everyone here is really nice and while church seems a little bit like a fashion show for some girls, it really is genuinely a super social, great ward. I really like it so far. And Tyra and Randi, my new roommates are awesome. We try and do a lot of things together.

When moving the thought always crosses my mind that I can become whoever I want to be with the new place. Last apt that I moved into I got the reputation of having a lot of guys so I made it a point to just be friends with everyone here and change some of my mannerisms. I know that my personality is a little flirty so I wasn't trying to change that but the touching or the spending time with one guy or the looks or whatever else I could consciencely change I have been trying to. And I think that I was doing a pretty good job of it. But there was a guy. A gorgeous guy. That was giving me a lot of attention. Well we ended up kissing yesterday and now I am confused. Another girl told me today that he is all over everyone. Figures. I am never good enough here.

Well that is Provo life. Don't move here if you ever want to be the best at anything because you will fail.

16. My First Kiss

2011-05-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

For all of those that know me... You know that I don't remember my first kiss.. when do you start counting when you started so young :)
I've kissed more than my share of guys, many of which I do not remember that well or they weren't that special. (they drop me off and kiss me at the door) So I've decided that I would instead write about my LAST first kiss.

It is rare that Andrea, Savanna and I have a night off together. On those rare occasions we try and do things together. Since Andrea's friend, Salesi, was in town, and Savanna is dating someone we decided that we would do a triple date. Salesi set me up on a blind date with one of his old mission companions.

The date was fun, we went to dinner and then back to our place and played games. It was just chill. Savanna's date had to leave so rest of us put on a movie. We were sitting next to each other and towards the end of the film he leaved over and kissed me. Then a thought entered my mind, I asked, "Do you know what my name is" He didn't. lol. I knew his. It was pretty funny. There is one name that he won't forget.

Just let me complain for a minute. k?

2011-04-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

basically boys suck.
Big time.

January 2011, my Stake President gives me the advice to get married because serving a mission for the LDS church is not available to me. I am bitter about it for 2 weeks to a month. In that time I got a blessing from my bishop and he said that I should keep my eyes open for a relationship but not all other doors are closed to me. And I talk to my dad. He says that I should at least take dating more seriously.

So I humble myself. They are right after all. I haven't taken a relationship seriously since... ever. I worked on it and worked on it. And worked on it some more and I think that I am getting pretty good at it.

I opened my mind and heart to several men along the way. But Karma is real and it is a brat. BIG TIME! The first I was interested in getting to know better decided that he was confused about an ex-fiance. whoopie! He went back to her eventually, but he told me tonight that they are really over.. yeah right. So I kept my eyes open and found someone else. Him and I hung out pretty constantly for 2 months or so and I really liked him a lot. It was coming to the point when I would need to decide to date him or not (with both these guys there was always one other person on the side-old habits) I would have dated him but then one day he comes over and he says that he met someone in vegas 2 weeks before. Suck. But earlier that same night someone else entered my life again wanting to try dating again cuz he and his ex-girlfriend were done for reals.

I really saw potential with this guy. He is super sweet, but not sappy. Funny and fun, likes the same kind of music, create, athletic, spiritual, attractive. And he seemed to really like me back. But then he took his ex out on a date and told me about it (my roommate happened to be at the same restaurant with them) i was not comfortable with that. "but we are just friends" BS. that's all I have to say about that. Potential down the drain. We're moving to the same apt complex in the fall and it's a good thing i purposefully didn't move into his ward.

Why can't life just work out. Why can't boys be less dumb. I am tired of these games i just want to move on with my life and it's not working. So I am formally telling any guys that i mistreated that i am sorry and i hope you forgive me. Maybe karma will be on myside after this.

15. My Dreams

2011-04-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

Dreams.
There are several ways that someone could take that.
Night dreams, big dreams (fantasies), planned dreams, and perfect dreams.

The first are the ones that everyone supposedly has every night but rarely remembers. I can only remember a handful as far back as I can remember and they usually had to do with marriage or dinosaurs. Yeah I am a weirdo, but you like it. I guess I only remember the ones that are emotional and traumatic. (I could never watch jurassic park as a child and when I dreamed about them I could never get back to sleep for a long time) Even though they are few and far between I am glad that I remember some of what my subconscious thinks about when my brain is off.

The second, big dreams, are ones that you always plan on accomplishing, like sky diving, which I will do someday. I am ridiculously scared of heights but I love the thrill of being scared. Last week dre, sav, and I went with some other friends to Knott's Berry Farm and I can go on any ride no big deal EXCEPT for the ones that take you up and then drop you... Those are terrifying.

Then we have planned dreams like what I want to do when I grow up. Up until recently I was not sure what I wanted to do. I had a dream plan and then that went down the drain so I have been working on another for the last few months and I think that I have finally figured out what that is. I am going back to beauty school :). I feel really good about this decision and the Brousseaus said that they would work with me so that I would still be able to work for them while going back to school. That should take me 6 months to a year to finish and then I would like to go back to school to get my bachelors in... something. I just want one really. I also would like to be certified in being a zumba instructor. I think that that is actually want I want to do with my life. I won't get into my planned dreams with boy except that I have been working on dating more seriously and it is super frustrating. Karma is a brat. That's all I got to say about that. BUT I would really like to find a relationship sometime in the near future.

And last we have our perfect dreams, ones where we see ourselves in the perfect. They represent the ideal in this life, angelic children, health and wealth, the perfect husband, ect. I guess mine includes a big house that is decorated to invite the spirit into my home. 7 wonderful children that bring me so much joy. A loving husband that is there for me always and forever and still likes to have adventures and makes me laugh. I still stay in contact with my best friends from high school and college. Living in Az close to my family would be nice because I sure to miss them quite a bit. A huge part of my perfect dream would be that I am sealed to my family and we are all working towards becoming more like Christ so that we can all make it to the celestial kingdom.. that actually applies to all my family. I love you guys

Dream big everyone. Because even if you miss the magical castles in the sky you will still land among the stars.

14. What you wore today.

2011-04-11T00:13:00.000-07:00

Well let me just tell you I looked freaking cute today. I went shopping yesterday with emma cuz I really wanted some new jeans... I had to go up a size. It sucks getting old. But today I wore a gray tube top, knee length dress, black cardigan, and my gray and black star vans, chill but fun. When I got home from work I changed again into my new dark denim jeans, a black and purple floral tank, purple cardigan, and same shoes as before.

Yeah i know that was exciting to read..

I also cut my hair today... well really all i did was style it so that I felt cuter wearing it short. I like it now.

13. Your Week

2011-04-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

I am almost half way there then I can blog about something else!! whoo hoo!! lol I am excited!

So this week is pretty nomal

Monday- got back from Cali at 5am. Went to bed and then woke up at 830 to get to work. I worked with the kids all day and then went to dance at 7-9. It was a lot better this week than past ones (we actually worked on our dances) When I got home Tommy came to pick me up and we went back to his place to watch a movie but really we fell asleep on the love sac.

Tuesday- Work with the kids until 5 and then I worked at fatcats from 630-1030. It was a short shift tonight. Nothing that interested happened there.

Wednesday- Work at the Brousseaus, came home and got ready for my date with Patrick. We went to a pizza place for dinner, and then a place where you paint plates, cups, bowls, ect. I just got back from that. It was a lot of fun.

Thursday- Work at the Brousseau's. Then I work at fatcats from 6-11.

Friday- Work at the Brousseau's. as of right now I do not have plans for Friday night.

Saturday- Work from 10am -8pm at fatcats. Making the big bucks :)

Yes I know I work a lot. I should probably find more time to build relationships with those around me.

12. What's in your bag

2011-04-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

Let me just say. I hate purses but since clothing designers insist on making girls pants tight with small pockets there is not much choice as to carrying them because we need our wallets (which are HUGE), our phones (which are getting bigger), house keys cuz roommates lock the door, and of course lip gloss... can you image all that in those tini tiny girl pants. Yeah not gonna happen.

I will say that my purse does hold a lot of special things for me. Right now the list of things contained in my bag of secrets is

wallet (2 credit cards, 1 debit card, and $6)
make up bag.
face lotion.
finger nail clippers
several needles in the lining that I can't get out
a purple pair of sunglasses
hair extensions
comb
gum
keys
lots of change
1 pen
deck of cards
2 hair ties
4 lip glosses
and 2 pairs of panties :)

i get ready at work, i hope that explains some of the random stuff ha ha

11. My Siblings.

2011-04-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

Well this might take a while since I have several siblings....like 8 of them. They are all wonderful in their own unique and individual way. They are my best friends and I love them so much.

DAWN

Dawn is my oldest sibling. She has been an example to me from the beginning. (Sometimes I decided to make my own mistakes though... bad choice on my part) She has always been so beautiful and she is Super stylish. She is a wonderful cook... I've never had anything at her house that I didn't like. She hates animals, I think that I learned that from her. She has 5 wonderful children who are so talented and a husband that loves her so much. She is so spiritually strong and has a wonderful testimony. I go to her for advice about a lot of things. She is such a strength to me. Dawn is always there for me and once let me live at her house for a month. But seriously, she has the most comfy couches.

Rachael

She is the hardest worker that I have every known. She is so giving with everything that she has, her time, cars, things, money. I think that I have spent more time with Rachael than I have any other sibling. She taught me how to cook and how to sew. She was the one that taught me the piano (she is an amazing pianist.) She works a lot and gives many people in my family jobs. She loves to go riding and to spend time with her family. She has 2 very smart children. Rachael can build anything if you just draw it for her so some might say that she is a tomboy but she knows how to get dressed up and party. Well really she can pretty much do anything. She is like the jack of all trades.

ADAM

Adam-chick as my father likes to call him... I'm not really sure why though. He is a ladies man. As far back as I can remember all the girls always wanted him. He is always trying new things to make money, one had to do with computers, another some kind of plant ;)... and there are soo many more. He is obsessed with riding and he is really good at it. He will help anyone with their cars. He tries to act all hard and tough but I know that he has one of the sweetest hearts in the family. He loves everyone and tries to show them that. He as 2 children, and well they are a little crazy, they are a crack up, especially that Elexa. He also loves Mountain Dew. It's pretty much all that he drinks.

KATT

She is the party animal of the group. If I was every looking for someone to have some fun with I would probably call her. She is probably the strongest in the family and can face any challenge that comes her way. She won't put up with crap from anyone. She is the craziest with her styles and does whatever she wants. She LOVES little bows and wears them often. She has a loving son that is always super excited to see me and a fat baby... like a sumo wrestler. She is great.

AND this is were I am inserted but I talk about me a lot so we'll skip that.

PAUL

He is so talented. He is so giving with him time and his talents. He went to school for collision repair and he is FANTASTIC at it. He is super creative and can do pretty much anything. He is really good at BMX street style. I don't know if it is actually called something. I was always so impressed with the tricks that he is capable of. Actually he is just good at anything he tries really that's trick stuff, like off walls, on trampolines, bikes, motocyles, maybe he is just super crazy and doesn't care if he breaks something but I admire him so much for being so fearless.

EMILEE

She is the sweet on in the family. She cares so much for everyone and their needs. She gives so much of her time to serve those around her and make sure that they are happy. She is much more in tune to people's feeling and tries hard not to hurt others. She is a wonderful singer and I expect to see her as an LDS artist one day or in the MOTAB choir. Yeah she is that good. She is a really good actress and fantastic at accents. "Roll your windows up it's cold outside!!" imagine that in a chinese accent... HILARIOUS. She is really good at car dancing.

BEN

Probably the most street smart of us all. For some reason he always has the weirdest things in his possession. He can get a genius to trade him a sports care for a toy car. I'm not sure how but he can. He loves new technology. He always seems to have the latest thing, i'm not sure how but I sure do wish I had that skill. He is really good at computer games and he is always on facebook when I am visiting.

JULIA

She is the baby of the family. I remember when she was born and she was the cutest baby ever. Now she is a young woman and it weirds me out. She loves to read and she is really good with the nieces and nephews. She is just like my mom. She is a wonderful help to my mom and does everything that she can for her. She is really loving and loves to hug.

There are many of you that share qualities but I just pointed out the one that most describes you. The thing about families is that sometimes we butt heads and fight but just forgive because you are gonna be a family forever and we need each other. We may have way different personalities but they compliment each other well and they each bring something new and exciting to the table. I love my family with all my heart and I miss them terribly.

10. What you wore today.

2011-04-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well this is a lame one.

I wore some clothes that for sure :)

Jeans, an aeropostal shirt, and tennis shoes. That's what I usually wear to work at the Brousseau's though. I have a lot of aeropostal shirts now because they are so cheap and I have stained several of my nicer shirts from the kids.

Well that was a super exciting one. :P

9. My Beliefs

2011-04-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

I am going to finish what I started!!

My beliefs.
I feel that beliefs come from experiences that we are blessed with and knowledge that we have sought out. Not everyone has the same beliefs because of this reason but we do all believe something.

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ, of the truthfulness of his gospel, and of the love of God for his children

I believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God that compliments and restates the teachings taught in the Bible.

I believe that through the Atonement all things can be resolved and we can grow towards perfection.

I believe that you have some control over who you fall in love with.

I believe that music can uplift you or it can bring you down.

I believe that knowledge is power and that we must study and learn all that we can.

I believe that families can be together forever.

I believe that parents should be your heros and your siblings should be your best friends.

I believe that we are blessed with talents to enrich the lives and serve others with.

I believe that we are faced with challenges so that we can be stronger from them.

I believe in the power of pray and that God really does hear and answer them.

I believe that we make our own happiness.

I believe in 2nd chances and that people can change.

I KNOW that my Redeemer lives.

8. A moment

2011-03-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

A Moment.
Any Moment?
There are so many moments to choose from in life.....

I was still attending Eastern Arizona, sitting in institute when a thought came to mind, "I should move to Utah." ridiculous huh?! There was nothing for me in Utah. I didn't have any friends there, I couldn't go to school, I didn't have a job, none of my family was there. There was nothing for me in Utah. So I ignored it.

A few months later I had the same thought, "I should move to Utah." I gave it a little more thought this time. The summer was coming and it seemed like a grand idea to move there for the summer and see how it went. So I started looking for places to live, called a few places to ask them questions, started looking for a job. And them I chickened out. I wanted to badly to be around for Eastern Arizona's dance concert that they were supposed to have that October. So I stayed and planned on going back there after the summer.

I spent the summer with my family and it was wonderful. Then it was time for me to go back to school. I was leaving on Thursday and the Sunday before my mom suggested that I prayed about it once more before I leave. So I did, and I felt fine about it. Thursday I was packing my car to leave and every box I took out to my AWESOME '83 Volvo (man I miss that car) I would think "Don't move there." "You're gonna be miserable." "You should have listened and moved to Utah." It was awful. And the thoughts were right. It was the worst, most unproductive semester I ever had.

I decided at that point that there was probably more to this thought than just random thinking on my part. So I planned on moving to Utah and it worked out wonderfully. I was able to move in with Savanna because her roommate, Kortney, was getting married. I haven't been so happy than I have been here. I know that this is where I am supposed to be. At times when I doubt a little, I am reassured by a simple feeling or thought letting me know that I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I need to be doing. I love those moments. They are the best.

7. My Best Friend

2011-03-07T00:02:00.000-08:00

Best Friends. It's not something that I call everyone. Actually I call most people acquaintances. :) I have friends, people that come over and hang out for a while, but a best friend. They are something special and hard to come by in many cases. I have been fortunate to be blessed with several. Just being born into my family I was blessed with 5...

#1. My wonderful sisters. I think that I have been in a fight or argument with almost every one of them but that is what makes them great. We forgive each other and then we are good again. People say that you are always family but that does not mean that you are always friends. My sisters are people that I can turn to for anything. They are so smart and helping in every aspect of their lives. I will talk more about each of them with I talk about my siblings.

#2. My Current roommates. They are such good examples to me of spiritually strong women. They set such a high standard to live up to and they reach down and help me up to it. I think that that is an important attribute of a best friend. They will accept you for who you are but they expect the best out of you and will do anything they can to help you achieve that. I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to live and get to know them better. They have changed me for good.

#3. Amanda Howard. We met when I was 18 and she was 24. It was love at first sight... :) We were in the same english class and one day we decided to hang out. We realized that we had a lot in common and from their our friendship blossomed. While her and I did not get to spend a lot of time actually together, we didn't need that. Once we are together it's like we were never apart. I was the maid of honor at her wedding and now she has a little bun in the over. I'm so excited for her!!

#4. Emma Johnson. We hung out every day during high school. We had so much in common and yet so little. She is an amazing woman. Emma always knew where she was going in life, always had her head on straight but she was so HILARIOUS. We could talk for hours and still have everything to talk about. We got along so well. I miss this girl like crazy! She is also married.

And last but not least. #5. Alex Johnson. He was probably my closest best friend. He accepted me for everything that I fell short in. He loved me for all my faults and could see my potential. We fought more when we were apart than when we were together, mostly because of jealously. He was always there for him when I needed him and I tried my best to be there for him. I am afraid that I fell short on that also. We don't talk anymore but I still feel like he is one of my best friends, which is why i included him.

Thanks everyone for being such a fantastic friend. I hope that be the same for you.

6. My Day

2011-03-05T02:15:00.000-08:00

My day started out pretty normal. I went to bed at 3:30 and then when my alarm went off at 8:05 am I pushed the sleep until 8:25. (I need to be leaving at 8:25) I quickly got my stuff that I will need for my later job and go to work.
I was really tired. Gray and I played connect four for a while and Emma and I watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Then I laid in the sun for a while because it just feels so darn good. Fed the kids lunch (Peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich, apple, and goldfish) Put the kids down for their nap. While they were taking a nap I swept, vacuumed, did the dishes, laundry, moped, and got ready for work later. All the while I was texting Andrew. I like texting him. He's funny.

I got home from the Brousseau's at 5:40, changed my clothes and was working at Fat Cat's at 6. I was doing food tonight, although I never did get my food handlers card. Oh well. I burned a corn dog and a pizza. I haven't made food there for a while. I got off work at early, at 9:30. Mike came over, we chatted for a little, then went to his place and watched a movie. Now I am home.

Wow that makes my life sound so boring. Sorry guy's I'm tired. Goodnight! :)

5. My definition about love.

2011-03-03T13:28:00.000-08:00

I have been dreading this day since I started this project. I've been thinking about it constantly and I have yet to figure out what I am going to say. Love is probably the hardest thing to understand, the most complicated to explain, but when you feel it you know, and then it all makes sense.

Love.
L. O. V. E.
It can not be summed up in one sentence.

Love is...
affection, adoration, passion, trouble, undeniable, insanity, madness, unpredictable, obsession, sunshine, greatest gift given, feeling of the heart that surpasses all others. It is a glance, a touch, a word. Love is eternal.

What does love do?
has power beyond this world, has power to transform, rules thought and action, ignores rational thought, burns in the heart, surpasses all other desires, neglects everything but the object of it's affection, makes 2 into 1.

Why do we love?
to feel whole, real, needed, accepted, happiness, something more powerful then ourselves. because is it an adventure, it's risky, its scary, but worth it every time.

How do we love?
We love with everything we have. Mind, body, soul. By service, kisses, compliments, gifts, dancing, singing, promises, marriage and families, forgetting ourselves. With time, walks, touches, letters, looks. We love completely.

I love how Yvaine in the movie StarDust explains love,
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is uncontrollable. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Love is the scariest thing in the world. Opening your heart to someone, being so vulnerable, entrusting it and hoping that it doesn't get broken. But without taking those chances the pain is worth nothing. Love shouldn't be feared or forced, but natural and real. Love is greater than any negative emotion. It helps us to forgive. It's the only way to forgive.

I have loved and have been loved.
I can tell you that love is different, every time. Very different.
For one, it was passion, trouble, and the "prefect fit"
For the other, it was friendship, understanding, and serving each other.
I loved differently.
And that may be the most wonderful thing of all about love.
It is unique.
It cannot be duplicated. It cannot be forced. Not true love.

:)

4. What I Ate Today

2011-03-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

I know this is a day late but I didn't get to bed until 4:30 this morning, besides I had to wait for the whole day to be done so I could tell you everything that I ate.

a couple of lemon head
A Special K bar
Wendy's #1 - Hamburger, small fries (that i shared with emma), and a small Dr. Pepper
Regular Cookie Dough Shake from Wendy's (split with Gray)
a few chips with bean dip.
half a symphony candy bar
A midnight milky way

I am super healthy. :)

3. My Parents.

2011-03-01T14:23:00.000-08:00

My parents.
They are fabulous.

This is my Mom and Dad. They are a good looking couple. Hard to believe they are 50 right? But what to say about that...

My parents met in 3rd grade and from then on it was love... Okay not really. My dad was moved to a seat next to my mom because he kept talking to his friends. The story goes that my dad did not notice my mom until they were in high school. My mom says that my dad was popular with the girls. (I wish I had a picture of them when they were younger. lol) I'm not really sure how they started dating only that some girl was mad at my dad and told my mom that she could have him. I guess she took the girl seriously and they were married right after high school.

My dad was not a member of the LDS church at that point and he did not join until a few years later when my mom put her little black bikini away. They were then sealed for eternity in the Temple. They went on to have 9 beautiful children and are currently working on building their family with grandchildren.

If you ask my dad when their first kiss was he will say Tuesday. Ask him when he first went on a date with mom he'll say tuesday. If you ask him when he knew that he loved her he'll say Tuesday. Tuesdays are a special day for my father.

MY DAD

He is one amazing fella.
He is such a wonderful example of service and faith.
He LOVES nascar. (we used to do a fantasy nascar every sunday)
he loves to go camping and show off all his awesome skills with a dutch oven. and let me tell you, he is good with that dutchoven.
He loves facebook and new technology. it's funny to watch him text or play games on his itouch.
he is amazing with cars. Actually he is amazing with anything. He's mr. fix it.
Is one of the most creative men that i know. He comes up with the most ridiculous stories and songs. I love that about him.
He loves to ride his 3-wheeler in the dunes.
Has a Ham radio and uses it alot.
He is a really good cook.
Has been getting thoughout the years at saying I love you to the kids. But really even though he doesn't always say it I know that he loves me because he lets me hold his hand and sit on his lap, even though I am 21 years old. He calls me on my birthday and sings me happy birthday. And he is always there for me when I need him.

MY MOM

She is such a wonderful example of service. She doesn't only serve her family but everyone else that seems to need help.
She loves geneology. (there she goes with the serving thing)
She is someone that I can go to for advice about boys.
She is a talentes seamstress.
She is super good at scrapbooking.
Her favorite ice cream is butter peacan
She loves to drive. and I mean she LOVES to drive.
She like to sit in the car outside the house during lightning storms
She had 5 of her children at home.
Loves rootbeer.
Has the most beautiful eyes and was super selfish for not sharing them with any of her children.
Is a great grandma.
She is allergic to metal but just got her ears pierced last year with my youngest sister.

I love my parents with all my heart and am super grateful that I am sealed to them for time and all eternity. They are a wonderful example of a loving relationship. They find new things to get into (like ham radio) to always have new things to talk to. They are fantastic parents and have taught their children how to be a hard worker and to serve those around you. As I have become old I have learned to come to them for advice. They know what's up yo :)I love them.

2 My First Love

2011-02-16T23:15:00.001-08:00

He was the first guy that wanted to start out as friends... That really meant a lot to me.

We met the summer before my Senior year of High School. We worked together at the mall. We hung out once outside of work that summer and I had a lot of fun with him. We were good friends since he was going on his mission in a couple of months.

Fast forward 2 months. We have not talked at all during that time and we randomly start to text a month before he leaves. We text a lot, and talk for hours on the phone at night. He sent me a text "I fell for you with the shoe story" (i inherited a small portion of my dads story telling abilities and one night when he and i were closing i was telling him a made up story about some shoes). That was the first time I knew that he had any kind of feelings for me. And it just blossomed for both of us from there.

We went on our first date in October 2007. He took me to Jesters and then we went to a park afterwards to just hang out. We held hands for the first time, and also shared our first kiss. He was so nervous, but it was magical. That was the first time that a kiss had made my heart stop.

While I was in New York on a school trip, we were talking one night until 4 am. It was a wonderful conversation, so much laughing was involved (i fell off the bed laughing in my hotel room) We started talking about love, which eventually led to him boldly asking, "Are you falling in love with me?" I was silent for a long time because I knew at that moment that I was. My mouth finally figured out how to form the words, "Yes, I'm falling in love with you." Thinking back I can still hear him say, "Cristal, I am falling in love with you too."

We spent the last couple weeks he was home with each other. And when he finally left to serve the Lord for 2 years I was sad but I was so proud of him. Even though him and I only had a short relationship, he had changed me a lot for the better. He had seen the good inside of me and had brought that out. He was an amazing young man and sometimes I miss him, but we went our separate ways and it was for the best.

"If I was blind I could live off your laughter; it would be all the color that I would need" -NH

1 Introduce Yourself With Pictures And Words.

2011-02-15T20:30:00.000-08:00

I feel a little strange introducing myself to you guys, especially since mostly only my family looks at my blog... You know me. I shouldn't have to tell you what I am like...

But here goes. I am Cristal Marie Gillespie. My dad made a deal with my mom before I was born, that if my mom quit her job they could have another baby. And along came ME! :) YAY!

This is my favorite picture of me as a baby. I sure do miss my curls! Man was I a cutie!

Somethings you should know about me.
I am kinda lazy, I like to sit around and relax.
I LOVE sleeping. I think something is wrong with me because of the amount of sleep that I require
I love movies and reading but it's hard for me to find time for the latter
I love to dance. If I could do ANYTHING all day, it would be dancing
I am talkative and independent.
I have commitment issues. By the time I want to commit to someone they aren't interested anymore because of the amount of guys I am also dating.
I am a nanny to 4 energetic children, for a family that has welcomed me into their own.
Sometimes when I get upset I don't know how to handle it, so I say and do hurtful things. I'm working on a better way to express myself (Sorry to those that I've hurt)
My favorite candy is Midnight Milky Way.
I like short dates, and bonus points if the guy does not try to kiss me on the first date.
I am easy going but I like to have a plan.
I love lists (it makes me feel good to cross things off)
I hate writing papers.

I am the 5th of 9 kids. I love my family! They are the best! Sometimes I feel like an "old maid" though because I am not married yet, adding to the family. Or dating anyone... I should work on that. More about them another day though.

I live in Provo, Utah right now. As much as I miss my family and spending time with Rachael and the rest of the family at her sewing place, I know that this is where I am supposed to be right now. I wish I knew what it was though. Maybe it was so befriend my roommates. They have been such a wonderful example to me. Both of them have shown me how to be a better, kinder, more charitable, woman. They are such a strength to me.
At one point I did have a plan for this year but that was destroyed so right now I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. I did just get a gym membership so that's exciting. I feel like a grown up.
I like to do silly things like undie-runs across a field, going through a carwash in the back of a truck, running around in tutu's, writing "inappropriate" saying on overpasses, ect. It keeps life interesting.
I work ALOT and I go on ALOT of dates.
I consistently watch GLEE, PRETTY LITTLE LIARS, and THE BACHELOR.

I have a testimony of the gospel and I try to live my life according to the teaching of the church. I've made mistakes, but I learned a lot from them and I think that they have made me stronger.

So that's me.

30 days of blogs

2011-02-11T22:26:00.000-08:00

It sure does take me a long time to post anything. I ran across a blog last week that was doing 30 days of blogging. I thought that it would be a great adventure to start on. I could learn a little bit more about the people in my life, and probably a lot about me and what I think. I am excited to start this (on Monday, I won't be blogging on weekends) It will give me something to do since I am not in school and I have no direction in my life. So here we go, it's good to have a new adventure to depart on.

MY NEXT ADVENTURE
Day 1: Introduce yourself with pictures and words.
Day 2: Your first love
Day 3: Your parents
Day 4: What you ate today
Day 5: your definition of love
Day 6: Your day
Day 7: Your best friend
Day 8: A moment
Day 9: Your beliefs
Day 10: What your wore today
Day 11: Your Siblings
Day 12: What's in your bag
Day 13: This week
Day 14: What you wore today
Day 15: Your dreams
Day 16: Your first kiss
Day 17: Your favorite memory
Day 18: Your favorite birthday
Day 19: Something you regret
Day 20: This month
Day 21: Another moment
Day 22: Something that upsets you
Day 23: Something that makes you feel better
Day 24: Something that makes me cry
Day 25: A first
Day 26: your fears
Day 27: Your favorite place
Day 28: something you miss
Day 29: Your aspirations
Day 30: One last moment

Kids say the darndest things.

2011-01-09T21:32:00.000-08:00

Saturday, FatCats hosted the Special Olympics and I was able to work the party. It was really fun, the people there were really nice and so excited to be bowling. They were also surprisingly really good at bowling. The Special Olympics came in 2 groups, the morning one's were not allowed to have assistance and the afternoon group were the assisted ones. After the morning group finished one of the competitors started talking to me. This was our conversation.

Him: "So what's your name?"
Me "Cristal, so you won a metal, that's super exciting. What was your score?"
Him. "It was 624... but that was 3 games combined"
Me "oh so your average was like 200?"
Him "Well, no. It was 60."
Me "oh yeah you have a handicap"

Now I did not mean it like that at all... Its the same as in golf, you have a handicap to get a better score or whatever it is for. It's not my fault that they call it that!! But i felt so bad and I don't think that he really appreciated it. :/

I do believe in miracles. I do! I do!

2011-01-06T23:06:00.001-08:00

I was working at the bowling alley tonight and my roommate Savanna was working at the restaurant that is located in the same building. Well Savanna does not have a car and there is snow and ice all over the ground, so since it was slow, I decided to ask my manager if I could get off the same time as her so that I could drive her home. He told that once I finished cleaning the grill area then I would be able to leave.

Let me paint a small picture for you. Fat Cats (the bowling alley) and Costa Vida are located in the same building but they are not the same place. They have the whole kitchen and we have a small 4x4 ft corner where we have 2 pizza ovens, a fryer, a popcorn machine, and a soda dispencer there. It's pretty crammed.

It was no big deal for me to close Strikers Grill (the food place that belonged to Fat Cats) So I went over there and started to do my business. I turned off the ovens and the coffee machine and then I got to the fryer. From the angle that I was looking at it there was only one lever to pull, so I did. It was the wrong lever. it started draining the oil all over the floor not to mention up to my elbow on my right arm and drenching my right side from my waist to my knee. (I've only turned it off once before a LONG time again needless to say)

The oil was room temperature so the only problem that it created was a huge mess and required mopping it 3 times. (We'll see how it dried next time I am working)

Now for the miraculous part of the story. I was frying french fries and chicken strips not even 15 minutes before then. There was no one else over there to turn the fryer off between that time and even if it was the oil is kept at 350 to 400 degrees so there is no way that that much oil would have cooled off that fast. it was a miracle that I was not terribly burned. I am so grateful or this miracle that I experienced in my life. Everyone there said I must have been doing something right cuz no one else understands it either. But I believe that God just cares about His children and He sometimes likes to remind them that He is aware of them.

God knows each and everyone of us. He is aware of our struggles and our needs. He loves us and He takes care of us.

I hate english

2010-12-06T12:42:00.000-08:00

I hate english.. not the language, but the class. 2 english classes this semester has sucked all the life out of me. :( I petitioned to get my associates this semester and they are still looking into it (I am 2 credits short but I have 5 from beauty school that are just floating around). Hopefully they will let me use them.

Halloween 2010. I was a marine, Savanna a sailor, and Andrea was a pirate. We were all on a boat!

Partying with some friends at a HUGE party. It was crazy! You could barely even dance, mostly you just waved with the crowd. It was so much fun!

BYU football game. One of 3 that they actually won.

A blonde, A brunette, and A read Head. Yeah were cool.

My roommates threw me a wonderful 21st birthday Party. These were all my colorful treats. Andrea even put cream cheese frosting on my cake. They are so good to me! Plenty of people came over to celebrate. It was a lot of fun.

Stephen Jones even showed up. For those that don't know, he is the oldspice guy for byu. Look up the commercial if you are interested.

BYU basketball.

We have fortnights twice a semester. One inside and one outside. Slushies are a must on fort night.

This is our fort. It consisted of a couch, 2 chairs, a tv, a coffee table, 4 mattresses, 3 box springs, and all the pillows and blankets that we own. We left it up for a week, making it so we slept in it for a week because it used up all our bedding. It was a legit fort. Were pretty much professional at it.

Went home for thanksgiving. I spent one of the days with my sisters. It was a lot of fun. I miss my family. they are great.

I decided that I was going to try blonde out for a little because there is no one that is interested in me right now and I am not interested in anyone. So it seemed like the perfect time to try something that had a good chance of looking ridiculous. Here was the first step. I bleached my hair. I knew it would come out this color but it was not where i wanted to stop.

2 days later I bleached it again and it came out more blonde but it was different colors down the hair strand. Blonde at the root, then orange, then red. I liked being blonde for half the day

We had church the next day and I didn't want to go with fire hair so I decided that it would be best to dye it one color at least while I let it rest from the damage that I was causing it. This is what my hair looks like right now. I'll keep you posted on the process.

21? Yes, Please!

2010-11-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

This birthday has by far been one of the best in my books. Except that I wasn't with my family at all... but I did hear from almost all of them on the phone today. I didn't know that I was loved by so many. It's awesome. I would write more but I am going out right now. Here is a picture of some of the things that I got from my wonderful family and friends... obviously they think that I need to gain some weight or something ;)

I love confetti!... and my big bed :)

Thanks everyone for making my birthday special. It really was wonderful.

Don't Party on Sunday - You Will Die

2010-09-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago Savanna, her sister Ciera, and I decided that we were going to take a small roadtrip (3.5) hours away with some friends to go boating for the weekend. We drove up to bear lake in Idaho Satuday and stayed until Sunday. I was one of the people that took their car up to the lake. I thought it would be no big deal since I drove it az twice, new mexico once, and Cali once this summer... and I didn't on the way up there.
Saturday night we all just hung out at the cabin but the next morning 8 of us woke up at 730 to get on the lake. Clay dropped us off on the lake but we couldn't get the rudder to drop... Long story short we were stranded in the lake for 3 hours and it was FREEZING!!! The boat was completely broken but it had gotten so windy on the lake with almost 4 ft waves that even if it wasnt broken it safe to stay on it anymore anyways. the boys spent all day trying to get the boat out of the lake, they eventually had to call in a tractor... which also broke when it got in the lake. Yeah.
When we finally got all that worked out and we were leaving my car was having problems all the way down...i shouldnt say all the way cuz it only worked about an hour of the way then it died.. completely died

Lets count that... the boat, the tractor, and my car all broke.

The boat was beached at this point

I needed to get a new car pronto stat! but no one was giving me a loan... so Katie (my boss) took it upon herself to help me get a car. She figured it all out and I was able to get a loan all by myself. Sweet huh. I towed the red car down to my bosses house in the mean time while I figured out what to do with it. I decided to donate it to a foundation that gives tax credit for broken down cars.
I
I bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am and I love it.

The Cristal Marie Gillespie OBITUARY

2010-09-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

40,562 seconds ago, a loved one tragically departed from us. 20 Year old Cristal Jose-Marie-Jose Gillespie choked on too many midnight milky ways while sumersaulting off her bed at the stroke of midnight.
Cristal was loved my everyone... especially those of the male gender. Being born and raised in Mesa Arizona, Cristal was a lover of the sun. She was the fifth of nine children in her crazy household. For much of her childhood years she was homeschooled which you would never know because of how normal she really turned out to be, or so we like to say. She studied at Eastern Arizona College where she majored in Hobology, the study of hobos in an international environment with a minor in tu tu design. From fitting a whole mattress in the back of her car, going through the most car washes in the back of a truck, to winning the biggest fro award. Her accomplishments in life are more than most can compare.
Cristal was always known throughout her life and wherever she went as the most talented girl to walk this earth. This girl loved to dance and you better believe she was good at it! From contemporary to swing dance she showhow still had a strong passion for her favorites, which were river dance and interpretive. She was an all around star, good at everything she did. Cristal is always up for an adventure and is full of the most random crazy ideas that just increase your love for her each day. Her favorite food is hamburgers, and she will not drink from a cup that is more than half full.
Some things that we will miss most about Cristal are her positive attitude and her ability to always make you laugh. She is one of the most generous firls we know, always wanting and willing to help and serve others. She is a girl who genuinely cares for everyone! We will also miss the time when hae had a pet fish and decided to feed it popcorn because apparently fish like popcorn. THe fish later died and so she got a new one. To make up for killing the last fish, she decided that she would do everything right for this fish... So she fed him glue. And the story is left untold because that's the day that he fish ran away. Cristal's spontaneous spirit will be remembered forever, always holding a place in our hears. Cristal Marie Gillespie had a great and memorable life. May she rest in peace.
-Savanna Stradling

Every sunday we have ward pray as a congregation and basically have some social time with the other young adults in our church. WEll every sunday they have a spot lighted apartment, where the apt chooses how they are going to introduce the people that live there. We were the first apt for this semester and we wanted to set he bar high. Savanna, Andrea and I each wrote one of the other persons orbiturary. It turned out really well, and by that I mean people laughed. I love my roommates and I think that they are so great. I have a feeling that this is going to be a great semester!

I'm So Lucky

2010-08-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

I am lucky that I have the Brousseau Family in my life since all my official family is 10 hours away.

1. They hooked me up with Microsoft 2007 which I needed for school this last semester.
2. I don't have to pay to do my laundry because I can do it here.
3. I have a reliable job.
4. Katie and Matt are super smart so if I am having a problem (ie. getting a loan for a car) they can give me advice about how to go about that.
5. Matt has the hookups for everything.
6. I am always welcome to stay for dinner and have a home cooked meal with the family.
7. They let me stay at their home for 5 days when I was homeless... but not only me, they also took in my roommate.
8. Matt has a truck and is so willing to move Andrea, Savanna, Me and all our stuff into our new place.
9. They gave me a vacuum :) so now I don't have to borrow theirs anymore for cleaning checks.
10. When I didn't have a car for week Matt let me use his truck.
11. They are my second family when I need someone there for me.
12. Matt is a worthy priesthood holder and is willing to get up in the middle of the night to give me a blessing.

and there are so many more things to be grateful for but thats all i am going to list today (:

Thanks Katie and Matt. I love you and your kids so much. You guys are such a blessing and a strength in my life.

The Excitement of Calling 911

2010-05-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

So I nanny for a family right? On Tuesday mornings I only have Emma, who is 1, and Covelli, who is 2. Covelli isn't part of the original family that I watch. His parents are friends of the Brousseaus. His mom is a school teacher and for 2 months before the mom gets off for the summer the dad works for UVU doing the grass. So I have been watching him the last month and a half.

Yesterday when I got here at 8:40 he was already asleep. So I went down stairs to run and workout. Around 10:30 Emma wakes up from her nap so I go and get her. As I walk down the stairs Covelli, who is on the couch is on his side is looking at me. I go to the other room, expecting him to follow soon. He doesnt. At about 10:50 I hear him start breathing really weird so I go to check on him. I find him face down on the couch in snot and spit. So i quickly roll him over and he is just lying limp in my arms. I put him on the floor to get him out of the mess and try to get him to wake up. I shake him a little. open his eyes. Nothing. So i called Katie who didnt answer, so I call alex cuz he is an EMT. He says that anytime a baby is unresponsive that I need to call 911. So I call. It took me forever to find a peice of mail with the address. I find one and they send an ambulance. About 30 Seconds before they get here he starts to be responsive, but he keeps going in and out of it. They finally get here and got control of the situation.

I got to work today and found out that he did have a seizure. Covelli has never had a fever and so if he gets one, even at 99, which is what he had yesterday, he has a seizure. His parents will need to keep an eye on him until he is 5 or 6 but he will be okay.

Pass the whipped cream, please

2010-04-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

For those of you that don't know, I got a job a while back nannying for The Brousseau Family 4.5 miles away from where I live. They have 4 children:
Addison is 9 and loves to dance. if you asked her if she cleaned her room she says "i think so" then if you say that you are going to go check she says "wait i should go check first.
Jackson is 5 and loves to play basketball and is actually very good at it. He does small things... like pinch his brother to make gray mad.
Grayson is 4 and probably the hardest. He is very moody. If he doesnt get his way over the tiniest thing then he throws a crazy fit. He is usually good though. He is more of an outright kid... if his Jacks makes him mad he just beats him up. (they are the same size if not gray being a little bigger)
Emerson is 9 months old and is so cute. She likes to cuddle and climb the stairs... which she is not allowed to do. She is teething right now so she cries a lot but thats to be expected of a baby i guess.

The kids are really good. they all have their little quarks but generally they are happy and fun to be with. I am so grateful for this job. It really is a blessing. The family is awesome... kinda reminds me of Dawn's actaully. Katie (the mom) is the 5th of 10 so her and i have a lot in common and grew up in basically the same family envirnment. and Matt (the dad) is a social butterfly, super nice and 6'8".

I took the kids to the park yesterday for a picnic. It was such a beautiful day outside.

And i had to sell my car. I loved my car so much. I will miss it alot. I sold if for $200. i probably could have gotten a little more but i am impatient and wanted it gone. Mom and dad raced the two olds up to utah last weekend to drop the red one off for me. But if any of you were wondering where i was going to put my collection of ducks in the new car here is it! they really like it there.

its just hair right?

2010-03-17T08:48:00.001-07:00

For... forever.... I have wanted to cut my hair super short. I would see girls that had short hair and I would think that they were so brave. To me short hair has always been 'cute' and 'spunky' and long hair was 'beautiful' and glamorous'. I am not spunky so I stuck with the long hair... and really I cant accomplish my life time goal of being a vitoria secret model with short hair. ;)
Monday night I got the scissors out, handed them to andrea, and said "do it now else i never will" Andrea had never cut hair, Brittney either. They are to thank for my new do. They cut all the length off and I did the layering. I think that for a quick bathroom job before FHE it turned our fantastic.

wedding, road trips, and more!

2010-02-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

I've lived in provo now for a month and a half and I've done so much. Here is a little of the fun!

Kortney, Me, Andrea, Savanna, and Mati.
I love these girls so much! They are all such good examples to me!

One night this guy wanted Savanna to drive an hour to see him. Unfortunately Savanna doesnt have a car and I didnt want to drive mine so Andrea drove. We went to some natural hot springs in the middle of the snow and after decided to walk around this big.... ice scupture/trail thing. Hence the towels.

In the process of building the best fort ever! it consisted of two matresses, 2 couches, several sheets and blankets, and tons of pillows. We spent 2 nights in there together.

One Saturday morning Andrea randomly wanted to get away so Savanna, Andrea and I got in the car at 1 am that night and drove to Mesa. Andrea had not been there before and was really excited about seeing a cactus. We had to be back Tuesday night for Kortneys bridal party at 7:30 so we had quite the adventure on the way back. First at 8:30 or so I got pulled over Andrea and I both got warning (she didnt have proof of insurance yet) then we went to vegas because i had never been there before. We didnt have much time to spare so we RAN to the strip to go take a few pictures. When we left Savanna was driving and guess what... she got pulled over also. Unfortunately her police officer was not as kind as mine and gave her a ticket. We got back to provo at 7:10, with just enough time to change and head over the Chilli's

Elvis was nice enough to let us take a picture with him even though we couldn't tip him.

Gambling is dumb. We each wasted a whole dollar on the stupid machine... we didnt even know how to play we just kept pressing buttons. LAME!

Kortney Carter got married last weekend and I did her hair and make-up for her. This was a touch up before the reception.... her hair in the back was really matted.. ;)

Arent they adorable.

toilet paper is so embarrassing!

2010-01-22T11:37:00.001-08:00

When someone askes me what my most embarrassing moment is it takes me a while to think of one. So either I dont get embarrassed that easily or I block those scaring memories from my thoughts. Personally, I think that it is the first.

Last night though was my #1 embarrassing moment of my life! I hope that I can soon block it from memory.

Earlier yesterday afternoon my friend Jordan invited me to go see his friend Nate Baldwin in his concert. Of course I said yes. As I was getting dressed later that evening I noticed that my blue bra kept showing a little on the left side. Let me explain something. My left boob is almost a whole cup size smaller than the right. So my bra is always a little higher on the left. I then came up with this brilliant idea to remedy the situation. stuff that side of my bra so that it sits a little lower. No big deal right? WRONG!!!

At 8 we all went to the concert and it was AWESOME! I really liked the bands. The first 3 were more indy rock which is my favorite style and the last, the one we went to see, was more rock but even then it was great. Utah has talent for sure

On our way back to the apartment complex we were kinda acting a little crazy. running around and what not. It was fun. I left everyone at my door and proceeded to go inside. I walked around the apartment for a when I felt something on my chest..... I looked down and saw the most horrifying sight! the toilet paper that I used to even out my bra had moved to the very middle of my shirt sticking WAY out.

I cant even describe my feeling. I will say this much I dont think that I will ever be able to face those people ever again. Who knows how long it was like that! Yep I am staying in my apt for the rest of my life. Never to see the light of day again.

THE END!

EAC Fall 2009

2010-01-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

I have been at Ea since fall 2008. I have enjoyed my time there for the most part. I have lived with several different girls. Some messy, some ridiculous, some selfish, some that I really liked. I met some nice guys there but the one that i stuck with for the most part was Alex. He is funny, smart, loves his family, loves to cook (and is good at it), he loves to serve people, he is kind, he has a testimony, he tries hard to do whats right,... he's amazing. He treats me so well. I know that sometimes i complain about him and that sometimes we fight but I love him. I learned a few things. Not going to blog about that tho. :)

I am out of that place now though. Next week i am moving to Provo utah. Where it is snowing right now. I am nervous about that. I've never driven in the snow before. I am Excited. We'll see how that goes.

Finals Stress Reliever.

2009-12-16T19:48:00.000-08:00

The weekend before finals the school always has a finals stress reliever where they rent a bunch of those big blow up things for a few hours and all the college students get to go play on them. Ashley and I had a blast! I couldn't pull myself off the velcro thing and I have scabbs on my elbows from getting burned on the slide. Thanks for going with my Ash! you're awesome!!!!

May I just vent for a little?

2009-12-13T18:15:00.000-08:00

today is one of those days where I simply am annoyed with everything.
1. Roommates suck. At least the ones that I have had to live with. I am tired of selfish girls that dont care about anyone but themselves. They dont clean up after themselves. They expect you to share your clothes and pretty much everything else (ie: shampoo, razor, girl stuff... ect) with them, even if you tell them its not okey. They dont respect your stuff and they are so irresponsible its RIDICULOUS! I want to live with FRIENDS is that too much to ask. Out of the 8 roommates that I have had I can only say that I really feel like Ashley is a friend and that really happened more after she moved out!
2. I want friends. am tired of being alone. Now I know that I should just go force myself into a group but that isnt my personality. I want people to want me. It's always been if Cristal is here thats cool and if she's not thats cool too. I feel like whenever I try and and get into a group the group suddenly stops hanging out with each other. Take for instance this last semester. The girls that I moved in with were all friends before i moved in. They hung out all the time. Had a "group". a few weeks after i moved in... no more group. They dont even hang out anymore and on those off days that they do... i'm not included. (that does not include boys who dont want to be friends but just want to hang out so that we can make out)
3. English is my nightmare. Finals are this week and tomorrow morning is english. We have to right a rheotrical analysis which I HATE (yeah that much). They are so freaking hard. I just want to be done with that.
4. Thatcher sucks and so does everyone that is here. for real. you have no idea how excited that i am to not be coming back here.
5. single is what i want to be. Do i really need more reason than that. I dont want to be single so i can go play with tons of other guys. I dont want to be single because i dont like you anymore. I JUST DONT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. why guys cant understand that I DONT KNOW! and its irritating when they want me to tell them over and over and over again why i wont be their girlfriend. I.AM.NOT.READY.TO.GET.MARRIED. if that is what you want---- move on.

I know that i am not perfect. That sometimes I am selfish and dont clean up after myself. i am in no way saying that my life is horrible. Because it is NOT. I have many opportunites and good things going on. But i can be bothered. i need to go study for that final. BLAH!!!!!

Camping on Mt. Graham

2009-11-19T19:23:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday was Veterans Day so there was no school. Because i have such an awesome car alex and I decided to go sleep on Mount Graham, which we live at the base of basically. There was a huge party going on with all the sports players from my school the next campsite over and they were getting REALLY crazy. Alex and I didnt join in on there fun. We did make a fire and cook s'mores before we went to bed.

I just love my car so much!

We went for a hike the next morning. It was beautiful cuz the leaves were changing colors.

The view was lovely but there was less trees the higher we went due to a fire at some point

And we found a little stream that came from no where. I love when there is water on a hike. pretty much i dont like to go on hikes unless they lead to water. :)

Oct 31 2009

2009-11-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

This Halloween was also hour school's homecoming game. We wanted to show some school spirit and also get in the year book so thats what we did. The original plan was for just the four roommates to dress up spelling out "EAC!" but that seemed lame so I decided to try and get enough people to spell "GO MONSTER!" After much texting and phone calls we found enough people that were brave enough to face the chill of the night. The girls all made tutu's with purple, yellow and black tool(it was a black out game) It was so much fun and we did win. YAY!

Go Monster!

The Girls: Loren, Bre, Ashley, Me, and Brea

Shortly after I moved in with these girls we were discussing halloween and how we wanted to do something themed all together. After much thought we chose to do disney princesses. I volunteered to make all the costumes cuz i'm just a bomb sewer. It took me a while and I had to redo one completely... not my fault though (she wanted it different after i made it.) Alex also really wanted to be Max from Where The Wild Things Are so i made that for him also. Everyone thought that he looked so cute. I felt accomplished.

Snow White, Belle, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty

Isn't he cute?

*I'm Still cleaning up glitter and paint from that night.

Congrats to me!

2009-10-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

Thats my 20th BIRTHDAY by the way!

Newest employing of Thriftee's food and drug

2009-10-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

I have been looking for a job for about the past month with no luck. I had applied at thriftees a few weeks ago and had not heard back from them until yesterday. Alex texted me at 9 telling me that i should go apply again because they were hiring. I told him that i shouldnt have to because they should already have my application. Right after I told him that Michelle, my new boss, called and set up an interview for noon. I went in and was told that i start tomorow.

I went to bed early because I had to be there at 4:20 am. As many of my family members know its hard for me to wake up that early. It was a terrible night of sleep. I had to put my phone on loud so that i was sure to wake up but someone called me at midnight and woke me up. and then someone texted me at 1:30. on top of that i was so stressed that i wasnt going to wake up that i woke up like every hour.

The job itself is alright. It does make my fingers hurt. you would think that after all the sewing that i do that wouldnt happen. Anyways i get off at 8:30 cuz i have class at 9. Its tuesday, thursday, and saturdays. money is money.

My fish died

2009-10-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

Well I forgot to mention in my last post that I killed Alex's fish coronado. I have had the fish since I came back to school and since that time I had not cleaned the water.... It was really dirty and like 3 to 4 inches of water were in it. I was going to clean it on Sunday but Saturday night alex went to the fish bowl asking, "wheres coronado?" He then proceeded to lift up the tunnel we have in the bowl and found a dead fish. He was very sad about it. He really loved that fish.

I bought him a new one a few days later. I gold fish again but a different type. He named it Jupiter. That night the fish were moved back to his house which is fine with me.

This last sunday before church alex called me up and said that he had some really bad news... Ameryllis died. She out lived two of alex's fish. she was a fighter. Pertty much the best gold fish ever. Jupiter did it. He bullied her ever since he moved in. He would eat all the food and follow her around the bowl bumping into her. He was mean. Alex wanted to return him but we were a day late.

She was a good fish. Alex has to buy me another one now.

Catch up.

2009-10-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

I can never remember what order the pictures download. sigh. oh well. So i returned Emilee's Lucky Duck even though she didnt have the randsome because she missed it alot and i didnt know when i would be returning to mesa again.

I cant find a job here in Thatcher. No one is hiring. Kind of depressing and pretty stressful

School is going well.I love math even though i sleep through the class often. Its all review though so i am not worried about it. And dance has been frustrating me cuz i feel like i never improve. UGH

The County fair was last week and I went once with my roommates and then again with Alex on Saturday. He gets sick on rides so he isnt as fun as dad but it was still fun. It was a small fair but that made it a little cheaper than the state fair and we got to go on more rides. sorry if this is confusing... there is a guy sitting next to me talking and i am trying to listen and write this.

My roommates and I all got airbrushed tats.

Also Amanda's wedding was last weekend.

He Cleans up nice huh. :)

The Bridesmaids. I was the maid of honor for my best friend Amandas wedding. I made the brides maids dresses, did the brides, flower girls, mine and another brides maids hair, and did the brides make up.

Me, Amanda and Suzie. Doesn't she look Beautiful?! (the bride)

A Decidedly UN-Lucky Duck.

2009-09-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

Help me Emilee!!! its dark and I dont know where I am!!

Emilee I am not sure if you noticed but your duck is not in your purse anymore. You should be worried for Lucky Duck because as you see.. he is being tortured... Alex can't keep his mouth off it. If you ever want to see your duck again I will need 9 hundred grand by next saturday September 26th 2009.

Bad A's for a day

2009-09-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

CHeap dates in thatcher are pretty easy to come by. This one is extra cheap and its fun. Alex bought a package of tattoos that we cut apart and then took turns choosing one til they were all split up. He got to choose where he was going to put mine and I got to decide where his were going.

I think that I did a better job at placeing them... dont tell him though.

bruises and more.

2009-09-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

I have been back at school for 2 weeks now. I wasn't that busy my first week cuz half my classes were cancelled due to my dance teacher being in the hospital. Her hip is dislocated. She now teaches from a wheel chair. More about that in a little though. Uh.. my classes are going well so far. I am taking math, anatomy, english, pilates, and 4 dance classes.. there might be another learning one but I cant think of it at the moment if there is. Last Saturday the school had an opening social on the practice football field. They got a fire truck to come and do a slip and slide for us. It was alot of fun... but as you can see from the pictures... kinda painful. When you went through the spray of the hose... if you can call it that... it was like getting hit with baseballs. It doesnt help that i bruise so easily also.

Back to dance. My body hurts... i lay on my matress and can barely move. i just want to sink into it and stay forever. I have 2 Ballet classes were for the first 2 weeks we are doing p90x.. if you dont know what that is... its HARD! SUPER HARD! and Painful! So i get that twice a day on tuesdays and thursdays and then In our theatre dance class we are doing jazz right now and my knees and butt and sides are bruised from all those moves... its great and i am going to be able to beat all you up when i come back to mesa... so be scared.

I am going to New Mexico tomorrow... i say that so i have motivation to blog about it.

Love You

Back In Thatcher

2009-08-25T14:10:00.001-07:00

These are my new Roommates Ashley, Loren, Me, and Breanna. They are all very nice and fun to be with. I haven't spent much time with them as of yet because we are all so busy but I liKe them.

The first semester that I was at EA I was in the sports dorms with all the football players. I had one roommate. The Sping Semester I was in apartments with 3 girls and that was fine. I shared a room with one of them while the other two were in the other room. This year I am in a house but I have my own room. I like it cuz I have 2 sets of french doors. One that leads to the outside of the house and the other going into the main living area. It's wierd having so much space to put my stuff. After sharing a room for so long, especially when i go home and share with Emilee and Julia and all my stuff is still in boxes, its so odd to be able to spread out.

First Car!!

2009-07-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

I few weeks after I returned from college Rachael (who I am working for) asked me if I wanted a car. OF course I said yes because my parents wanted me off their insurance and it's a huge hassle to get some one to take me grocery shopping in thatcher. The next day I went into work and she says that Dusty found me a car at his work and all I have to do is pay to have it fixed.
When I first saw a picture of the car an 83 Volvo-Wagon style I was not sure that I wanted it. Actually I was pretty positive that I didn't. But the car grew on me and now I love it.

Jealous? I know... its natural. Haha This is the car

My nephew Kristofer was the first one to ride in my sweet ride. He told me over and over again on the way home how lame my car was. What a sweetie :P Since that day I bought seat covers so you cant see how torn up the seats are. Its pretty nice inside now.

Because the car is a wagon I can flip down the back seat and fit a whole twin size mattress into it. Who needs a house to live in at college when you can just sleep in your car!?!?! :) Other perks are... the ac worked for the first month... but now... it doesnt... BUT all the windows are electric and they ALL roll down! so it makes up for it in some way. The gas milage isnt that great but hey i'll be driving it mostly in Thatcher where everything is within 5 miles or less. I think that it's a great car for a college student.

Eastern Arizona College

2009-05-12T20:29:00.001-07:00

I have now returned home from my first year at EAC. What a wonderful year it has been. I was part of the Rowdy Retiles for the first semester where I got to cheer on all the sports teams that played. I went to New Mexico twice with Alex. Met a lot of cool people including my best friend Amanda. Had some fun with paint... we all purchased a gallon of paint and threw it at each other... I was involved with all the things going on at the institute and all the actities that were going on at the school. I was in Suessical the Musical this last semester. I worked for the costume shop, where I helped make the costumes for all the school productions. I even went to school part of the time. :) All in all it was a good year and I cant wait to see what adventures are still to come.

School Luau

2009-04-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

Saturday after my last choir concert of the week my school had their anual Luau. EAC has a lot of hawiians and they have a club that puts on a big show that night. The food was good. The entertainment was fun. The company was great. And my boyfriend is now released from student counsil actitivies...FINALLY! :)

Cortez RIP 4/20/2009 Welcome Coronado

2009-04-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

Late afternoon on Monday Alex sent me a text telling me that his fish died. He was so sad. We went to the store and returned Cortez cuz we are poor college students. They threw him in the trash right in from of us... So insensitive. Anyways I went and got Alex a new fish, Coronado. He says that he names them hispanic names because he wont be able to name his children that. Amaryllis and Coronado seem to like each other alot. They follow each other around the bowl all day long. Fish can be so entertaining.

Cortez and Amaryllis

2009-04-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, April 18th, Alex and I went to wal-mart (the only place in that Safford area to shop really) and bought some pet fish. Alex named his Cortez... he is on the upper side of the tank... and mine is Amaryllis.... she is to the right of the tank. Gender is from their names. They get to stay at Alex's place. He doesnt want them at my place... why? i asked. his response was "If they go to your house your roommates with kill them cuz they are mean. If they die here its cuz my roommates are idiots." We need to hide the food so that his roommates will stop over feeding them.

"I am just going to love these fish so much"- alex when we were purchasing them. And he does.

2009-04-18T12:04:00.000-07:00

The night that the muscial that I was in ended, Suessical The Musical, Suzie, Meigen and I decided that we were going to cause some mischief. Suzie was upset with Jeremy because he didnt want to hang out with her so he was our target. The supplies included, easter grass, oreos, gummy bears, and serran wrap. Alex was supposed to come on the adventure with us but at the last minute he decided not to come... bad choice. Anyways, we were out until 4 am "decorating" guys cars, moving benches around at school, and the other activity has been excluded because of legal reasons. It was fun though.

The Disguises.

The get-away truck.

Alex's car. OH he was not happy in the morning. His roommate, Zach, was awake when we were putting the stuff on his car and when we were almost done set the alarm on his car off to scare us away. We took off FAST but returned a few hours later to finish the job.

Oh the lovely school benches. It took all 3 of us and like 10 minutes to move it under the clock tower. Those suckers are HEAVY!

one of the reasons i got a blog....mom tagged me

2009-04-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

5 things I was doing 5 years ago
Going to the youth dances.
trying to finish my personal progress.
finishing online school---never again!
dating derek---yuck
living the life of a 14 year old--- rebelling against my parents

5 things on my to do list today
give alex a hair cut
help clean mom's house
drive back to thatcher
probably unpack
go to bed earlier then midnight or later

5 things I would buy with a million dollars
pay for school
a car
pay off my moms house
can i save the rest? there is alot of stuff i will need to buy in the future that i dont have money for yet.

5 places I have lived
110th place.
mark allen dorms.
good mans apt.
practically lived a rachaels... i slept there alot at one point

5 jobs I have held
Asap signs
Pillow talk
Down east basics
Tillys
costume shop

I have arrived!

2009-04-09T14:42:00.000-07:00

It seems that my family forgets about me because I live 2.5 hours away. I know everything that goes on with all my siblings because they have blogs but they know nothing about me. I might not be that exciting but I do want to be included. So today I came home for Easter and talked my mom into signing Emilee out of school. She (emilee) has been nice enough to help me set up a blog which has taken a long time to do. What a sweetie. Anyways so now I am in. I will be part of the family again. My mom is so excited... she told me :) And so am I. It just sucks that you missed all the exciting stuff that happened during my first year of college. It was fun and now it is almost over. YAY.