I've just realized that there have been several odd comments on recent posts and I would just like to apologize about me complaining about dating in the last few posts. So I would like to take this opportunity to share the good things about my life.
I have a wonderful family that cares for me and is always there to listen, give wonderful advice and just chat to catch up.
I have 2 fantastic roommates that I love hanging out with.
I have the opportunity to take piano lessons again and work on a potential talent.
I have skills that I am able to use almost daily to serve those around me such as hair cutting and sewing.
I have 2 jobs that keep me busy but are great because I am able to support myself.
My car works and does not give me any problems
I have the gospel in my life and I know the happiness that comes from living the standards set forth from the church.
I have 4 children (nannying) that remind me to be better always (like wear my seatbelt)
I have plenty of opportunities to serve those around me
I can afford the food that I like to eat.
My sisters taught me how to cook.
Being able to take dance.
Going to institute.
Having a temple so close to me
living in the gorgeous apt that i do.
having money to play a little (Footloose on friday! WOOHOO)
Anyways the list could go on and on because I am so blessed. While I am sorry for complaining. I am not sorry for the way that I feel. It's frustrating to see all my friends getting married or having babies and feel a little alone in that aspect. I know that I should enjoy my single life and trust me I take advantage of that all the time but a deeper more meaningful relationship would be better over that anyday. That is all :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
and the good times roll on,
A conversation I had at work tonight with my Manager Tyler:
Me "Why aren't there any guys that want to date me?"
Tyler "Cuz guys are dumb"
Me "I take it back. I could find a guy to date, the problem is I am so dang picky"
Tyler "That's cuz you are a girl"
True
I see all my friends go through boyfriend after boyfriend and I think why can't I have that. But then I realize that I could. If i really wanted a boyfriend then I would just date any guy that came along. It wouldn't be a big deal. But I am not looking for just any relationship. I am looking for something serious and lasting. One that could potentially progress into something more. And I guess those are hard to find.. OR I am too picky.
Me "Why aren't there any guys that want to date me?"
Tyler "Cuz guys are dumb"
Me "I take it back. I could find a guy to date, the problem is I am so dang picky"
Tyler "That's cuz you are a girl"
True
I see all my friends go through boyfriend after boyfriend and I think why can't I have that. But then I realize that I could. If i really wanted a boyfriend then I would just date any guy that came along. It wouldn't be a big deal. But I am not looking for just any relationship. I am looking for something serious and lasting. One that could potentially progress into something more. And I guess those are hard to find.. OR I am too picky.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Provo Life
After a request from Katt I decided that it was time to post on my blog again but I would like to point out that everyone else has been slacking a little in these parts recently (except Dawn)
I just got done moving into a new place in Provo. It has the reputation for tools and rich girls but it's where i feel like I should be and I know what happens when i don't listen. So here I am and I actually like it here quite a bit. Everyone here is really nice and while church seems a little bit like a fashion show for some girls, it really is genuinely a super social, great ward. I really like it so far. And Tyra and Randi, my new roommates are awesome. We try and do a lot of things together.
When moving the thought always crosses my mind that I can become whoever I want to be with the new place. Last apt that I moved into I got the reputation of having a lot of guys so I made it a point to just be friends with everyone here and change some of my mannerisms. I know that my personality is a little flirty so I wasn't trying to change that but the touching or the spending time with one guy or the looks or whatever else I could consciencely change I have been trying to. And I think that I was doing a pretty good job of it. But there was a guy. A gorgeous guy. That was giving me a lot of attention. Well we ended up kissing yesterday and now I am confused. Another girl told me today that he is all over everyone. Figures. I am never good enough here.
Well that is Provo life. Don't move here if you ever want to be the best at anything because you will fail.
I just got done moving into a new place in Provo. It has the reputation for tools and rich girls but it's where i feel like I should be and I know what happens when i don't listen. So here I am and I actually like it here quite a bit. Everyone here is really nice and while church seems a little bit like a fashion show for some girls, it really is genuinely a super social, great ward. I really like it so far. And Tyra and Randi, my new roommates are awesome. We try and do a lot of things together.
When moving the thought always crosses my mind that I can become whoever I want to be with the new place. Last apt that I moved into I got the reputation of having a lot of guys so I made it a point to just be friends with everyone here and change some of my mannerisms. I know that my personality is a little flirty so I wasn't trying to change that but the touching or the spending time with one guy or the looks or whatever else I could consciencely change I have been trying to. And I think that I was doing a pretty good job of it. But there was a guy. A gorgeous guy. That was giving me a lot of attention. Well we ended up kissing yesterday and now I am confused. Another girl told me today that he is all over everyone. Figures. I am never good enough here.
Well that is Provo life. Don't move here if you ever want to be the best at anything because you will fail.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
16. My First Kiss
For all of those that know me... You know that I don't remember my first kiss.. when do you start counting when you started so young :)
I've kissed more than my share of guys, many of which I do not remember that well or they weren't that special. (they drop me off and kiss me at the door) So I've decided that I would instead write about my LAST first kiss.
It is rare that Andrea, Savanna and I have a night off together. On those rare occasions we try and do things together. Since Andrea's friend, Salesi, was in town, and Savanna is dating someone we decided that we would do a triple date. Salesi set me up on a blind date with one of his old mission companions.
The date was fun, we went to dinner and then back to our place and played games. It was just chill. Savanna's date had to leave so rest of us put on a movie. We were sitting next to each other and towards the end of the film he leaved over and kissed me. Then a thought entered my mind, I asked, "Do you know what my name is" He didn't. lol. I knew his. It was pretty funny. There is one name that he won't forget.
I've kissed more than my share of guys, many of which I do not remember that well or they weren't that special. (they drop me off and kiss me at the door) So I've decided that I would instead write about my LAST first kiss.
It is rare that Andrea, Savanna and I have a night off together. On those rare occasions we try and do things together. Since Andrea's friend, Salesi, was in town, and Savanna is dating someone we decided that we would do a triple date. Salesi set me up on a blind date with one of his old mission companions.
The date was fun, we went to dinner and then back to our place and played games. It was just chill. Savanna's date had to leave so rest of us put on a movie. We were sitting next to each other and towards the end of the film he leaved over and kissed me. Then a thought entered my mind, I asked, "Do you know what my name is" He didn't. lol. I knew his. It was pretty funny. There is one name that he won't forget.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Just let me complain for a minute. k?
basically boys suck.
Big time.
January 2011, my Stake President gives me the advice to get married because serving a mission for the LDS church is not available to me. I am bitter about it for 2 weeks to a month. In that time I got a blessing from my bishop and he said that I should keep my eyes open for a relationship but not all other doors are closed to me. And I talk to my dad. He says that I should at least take dating more seriously.
So I humble myself. They are right after all. I haven't taken a relationship seriously since... ever. I worked on it and worked on it. And worked on it some more and I think that I am getting pretty good at it.
I opened my mind and heart to several men along the way. But Karma is real and it is a brat. BIG TIME! The first I was interested in getting to know better decided that he was confused about an ex-fiance. whoopie! He went back to her eventually, but he told me tonight that they are really over.. yeah right. So I kept my eyes open and found someone else. Him and I hung out pretty constantly for 2 months or so and I really liked him a lot. It was coming to the point when I would need to decide to date him or not (with both these guys there was always one other person on the side-old habits) I would have dated him but then one day he comes over and he says that he met someone in vegas 2 weeks before. Suck. But earlier that same night someone else entered my life again wanting to try dating again cuz he and his ex-girlfriend were done for reals.
I really saw potential with this guy. He is super sweet, but not sappy. Funny and fun, likes the same kind of music, create, athletic, spiritual, attractive. And he seemed to really like me back. But then he took his ex out on a date and told me about it (my roommate happened to be at the same restaurant with them) i was not comfortable with that. "but we are just friends" BS. that's all I have to say about that. Potential down the drain. We're moving to the same apt complex in the fall and it's a good thing i purposefully didn't move into his ward.
Why can't life just work out. Why can't boys be less dumb. I am tired of these games i just want to move on with my life and it's not working. So I am formally telling any guys that i mistreated that i am sorry and i hope you forgive me. Maybe karma will be on myside after this.
Big time.
January 2011, my Stake President gives me the advice to get married because serving a mission for the LDS church is not available to me. I am bitter about it for 2 weeks to a month. In that time I got a blessing from my bishop and he said that I should keep my eyes open for a relationship but not all other doors are closed to me. And I talk to my dad. He says that I should at least take dating more seriously.
So I humble myself. They are right after all. I haven't taken a relationship seriously since... ever. I worked on it and worked on it. And worked on it some more and I think that I am getting pretty good at it.
I opened my mind and heart to several men along the way. But Karma is real and it is a brat. BIG TIME! The first I was interested in getting to know better decided that he was confused about an ex-fiance. whoopie! He went back to her eventually, but he told me tonight that they are really over.. yeah right. So I kept my eyes open and found someone else. Him and I hung out pretty constantly for 2 months or so and I really liked him a lot. It was coming to the point when I would need to decide to date him or not (with both these guys there was always one other person on the side-old habits) I would have dated him but then one day he comes over and he says that he met someone in vegas 2 weeks before. Suck. But earlier that same night someone else entered my life again wanting to try dating again cuz he and his ex-girlfriend were done for reals.
I really saw potential with this guy. He is super sweet, but not sappy. Funny and fun, likes the same kind of music, create, athletic, spiritual, attractive. And he seemed to really like me back. But then he took his ex out on a date and told me about it (my roommate happened to be at the same restaurant with them) i was not comfortable with that. "but we are just friends" BS. that's all I have to say about that. Potential down the drain. We're moving to the same apt complex in the fall and it's a good thing i purposefully didn't move into his ward.
Why can't life just work out. Why can't boys be less dumb. I am tired of these games i just want to move on with my life and it's not working. So I am formally telling any guys that i mistreated that i am sorry and i hope you forgive me. Maybe karma will be on myside after this.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
15. My Dreams
Dreams.
There are several ways that someone could take that.
Night dreams, big dreams (fantasies), planned dreams, and perfect dreams.
The first are the ones that everyone supposedly has every night but rarely remembers. I can only remember a handful as far back as I can remember and they usually had to do with marriage or dinosaurs. Yeah I am a weirdo, but you like it. I guess I only remember the ones that are emotional and traumatic. (I could never watch jurassic park as a child and when I dreamed about them I could never get back to sleep for a long time) Even though they are few and far between I am glad that I remember some of what my subconscious thinks about when my brain is off.
The second, big dreams, are ones that you always plan on accomplishing, like sky diving, which I will do someday. I am ridiculously scared of heights but I love the thrill of being scared. Last week dre, sav, and I went with some other friends to Knott's Berry Farm and I can go on any ride no big deal EXCEPT for the ones that take you up and then drop you... Those are terrifying.
Then we have planned dreams like what I want to do when I grow up. Up until recently I was not sure what I wanted to do. I had a dream plan and then that went down the drain so I have been working on another for the last few months and I think that I have finally figured out what that is. I am going back to beauty school :). I feel really good about this decision and the Brousseaus said that they would work with me so that I would still be able to work for them while going back to school. That should take me 6 months to a year to finish and then I would like to go back to school to get my bachelors in... something. I just want one really. I also would like to be certified in being a zumba instructor. I think that that is actually want I want to do with my life. I won't get into my planned dreams with boy except that I have been working on dating more seriously and it is super frustrating. Karma is a brat. That's all I got to say about that. BUT I would really like to find a relationship sometime in the near future.
And last we have our perfect dreams, ones where we see ourselves in the perfect. They represent the ideal in this life, angelic children, health and wealth, the perfect husband, ect. I guess mine includes a big house that is decorated to invite the spirit into my home. 7 wonderful children that bring me so much joy. A loving husband that is there for me always and forever and still likes to have adventures and makes me laugh. I still stay in contact with my best friends from high school and college. Living in Az close to my family would be nice because I sure to miss them quite a bit. A huge part of my perfect dream would be that I am sealed to my family and we are all working towards becoming more like Christ so that we can all make it to the celestial kingdom.. that actually applies to all my family. I love you guys
Dream big everyone. Because even if you miss the magical castles in the sky you will still land among the stars.
There are several ways that someone could take that.
Night dreams, big dreams (fantasies), planned dreams, and perfect dreams.
The first are the ones that everyone supposedly has every night but rarely remembers. I can only remember a handful as far back as I can remember and they usually had to do with marriage or dinosaurs. Yeah I am a weirdo, but you like it. I guess I only remember the ones that are emotional and traumatic. (I could never watch jurassic park as a child and when I dreamed about them I could never get back to sleep for a long time) Even though they are few and far between I am glad that I remember some of what my subconscious thinks about when my brain is off.
The second, big dreams, are ones that you always plan on accomplishing, like sky diving, which I will do someday. I am ridiculously scared of heights but I love the thrill of being scared. Last week dre, sav, and I went with some other friends to Knott's Berry Farm and I can go on any ride no big deal EXCEPT for the ones that take you up and then drop you... Those are terrifying.
Then we have planned dreams like what I want to do when I grow up. Up until recently I was not sure what I wanted to do. I had a dream plan and then that went down the drain so I have been working on another for the last few months and I think that I have finally figured out what that is. I am going back to beauty school :). I feel really good about this decision and the Brousseaus said that they would work with me so that I would still be able to work for them while going back to school. That should take me 6 months to a year to finish and then I would like to go back to school to get my bachelors in... something. I just want one really. I also would like to be certified in being a zumba instructor. I think that that is actually want I want to do with my life. I won't get into my planned dreams with boy except that I have been working on dating more seriously and it is super frustrating. Karma is a brat. That's all I got to say about that. BUT I would really like to find a relationship sometime in the near future.
And last we have our perfect dreams, ones where we see ourselves in the perfect. They represent the ideal in this life, angelic children, health and wealth, the perfect husband, ect. I guess mine includes a big house that is decorated to invite the spirit into my home. 7 wonderful children that bring me so much joy. A loving husband that is there for me always and forever and still likes to have adventures and makes me laugh. I still stay in contact with my best friends from high school and college. Living in Az close to my family would be nice because I sure to miss them quite a bit. A huge part of my perfect dream would be that I am sealed to my family and we are all working towards becoming more like Christ so that we can all make it to the celestial kingdom.. that actually applies to all my family. I love you guys
Dream big everyone. Because even if you miss the magical castles in the sky you will still land among the stars.
Monday, April 11, 2011
14. What you wore today.
Well let me just tell you I looked freaking cute today. I went shopping yesterday with emma cuz I really wanted some new jeans... I had to go up a size. It sucks getting old. But today I wore a gray tube top, knee length dress, black cardigan, and my gray and black star vans, chill but fun. When I got home from work I changed again into my new dark denim jeans, a black and purple floral tank, purple cardigan, and same shoes as before.
Yeah i know that was exciting to read..
I also cut my hair today... well really all i did was style it so that I felt cuter wearing it short. I like it now.
Yeah i know that was exciting to read..
I also cut my hair today... well really all i did was style it so that I felt cuter wearing it short. I like it now.
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